Alright! I have some peppermint tea emitting happy little trails of steam beside me, the billowing clouds bring long-awaited and most welcome rain. There’s a beautiful contrast of fading blue sky shining behind the fluffy formations, and it’s time for some stories!
I believe it’s time I told you the story of Bathtub the horse. It’s honestly super quick and simple, so I’m sorry if any of you had been anticipating this day and are now about to find that this story is more of a light appetizer as opposed to the main course.
When I was very young I’d have this reoccurring dream about a black Friesian named Bathtub. In the dream, his coat would appear shaggy and dirty in the shade, but when we were out riding in the sun, it shone with colors of deep mahogany and rich dark chocolate, and he was beautiful. Thus, my adolescent brain donned him the name Bathtub, because he was clean and shiny despite his initial appearance. I want to one day get a Friesian and name him or her Bathtub to fulfill this dream of my childhood. That’s it! That’s the story of Bathtub, the horse that galloped through my dreams.
I’ve written lyrics since I was in elementary school, and my friend and I would huddle up against the school’s walls during recess and share what we’d come up with, sometimes challenging the other to put melodies to each other’s pieces. Back then, my lyrics were only make believe and had no relevance to the current events of my life, they were basically knock off themes from Avril Lavigne and other punk pop princesses of that time, which was actually a lot of fun to write because you could get so sassy!
Since then I’ve appreciated how writing lyrics to life’s situations can be a form of expression as well as presenting you with insight to how you feel and are perceiving those situations. For example: you’re crushing on someone, hard, and it feels like an impossible situation. Either you know for certain that this love is destined to be unrequited, or you just don’t know how to deal with these feelings, and aren’t sure how or if the other person would reciprocate. Sometimes this can eat you alive, and make you feel troubled, irritable even, that this someone has managed to cut themselves so deep into your soul subconsciously and yet, whether or not you know about their affections towards you, you feel helpless and trapped in your emotions. Write a song! It’s helped me to take the time to organize my thoughts and feelings and transform them into something poetic. It’s almost as if my thoughts have developed into their own shape, and singing this new creation can feel like looking in a mirror. It enables me to examine my soul, heart, and mind, helping me to draw conclusions on what’s going on and whether or not I’ll let it affect me. It brings me understanding and peace.
There’s another sense of freedom that comes from it as well, the freedom of feeling that your voice is heard. It’s freeing when you express how you feel, definitely a form of therapy I’d recommend. Even if the person that inspired your creation is not hearing it directly, you can still feel free with a stranger in the third row listening and connecting with you. My emotions are out in the open. Yes, it’s a very vulnerable experience, but this vulnerability is the kind that leaves you feeling light and airy. You’re not weighed down by your worries anymore, you’ve thought them out and they now have their own body, their own shape that is being weighed and measured by those around you. And who knows, maybe that person is there listening to you! Do they know it’s about them? Probably not, but even the fact that they are there and are aware of the goings on in your heart is enough. Your bones feel hollow, like you could fly away, your mind feels as if a cool breeze sifted through your thoughts and took the pain away. You are free. That’s what writing songs feels like to me: freedom.
I’m going to leave it at that for now, thank you again for those who take the time to read these, you mean so much to me! If you’d like, comment below on what you’d like to hear concerning my music or just life in general, I’d love to keep you in the loop :) . Until next time!